Planning your Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony

Location

The first thing you should consider is the location of your tea ceremony.Whether to hold it at your own home or at the hotel function room.

Home Sweet Home - There is no where that is more memorable than having the tea ceremony with your parents at your place (or technically your parent's place). If the house is able to accommodate the throng of relatives that are coming over, your wedding entourage and the buffet table, then go ahead. However, if your house is not able to hold such events, you may turn to the other location below.

Advantage - Home holds the most memories. Why not more?
Disadvantage - Pre and post clean up by none other than your parents.



Hotel/Restaurant - Most hotels are flexible to allow a function room to be used by the wedding couples where they booked their wedding banquet. However, this is base on availability and can only be confirmed around a month or less before your AD.

Advantage
- Both side relatives will be 'punctual' for the banquet as they will need to come for the tea ceremony first.
- There is also no need for them to travel twice. First to your house during the day and your wedding banquet location in the evening.
- Hotels will also provide chairs for your relatives so they do not need to be standing around waiting for their turn or for the event to end.
- You do not need to order additional buffet for both sides since the the banquet will be starting soon. That will save you a few hundreds and less coordination.

Disadvantage - If your hotel does not have a function room for you at the last minute, you will need to do the tea ceremony at the banquet hall itself.

If you are traveling to both locations (your home and your wife's) anyway, then have the tea ceremony with your immediate families and the rest of your relatives at the hotel.

Tea Set and Tea

Excited couples usually tend to shop for a new tea set. Why not ask your married friends if they are willing to lend it to you? Although there is a high chance that they do not know where they kept it which will strengthen your decision not to buy a new tea set.

The tea set IMO should also have more than 4 cups since Chinese do not like the number 4. And having more cups means that less people share the cups.

I will suggest that the cups which are for the parents to be the normal cups like porcelain and the rest of the relatives cups to be disposable cups for hygiene purpose

So in case you are having difficulties finding the tea recipe online, here it is.

Ingredients:

• 100g Red Dates
• 100g Whole Lotus Seeds with skin
• 50g Pak Hup
• 3 Tablespoon of Sugar
• 6 liters of water

Methods:

1. Wash red dates, lotus seeds and pak hups 2 to 3 times with water.
2. Put all the washed ingredients into a pot filled with boiling water.
3. Cover the pot and cook over low heat for 45 minutes.
4. Add sugar and bring it to boil before turning off the stove.
5. Serve it lukewarm.

Or...just ask your mum

Another benefit if you hold your tea ceremony at your hotel, the hotel staff will prepare the tea for you. Problem solved!

Where to hold the actual ceremony?

If you are holding the tea ceremony at your own home, consider the vantage points for the photographer, natural lights, space to maneuver , etc. This will save the confusion of finding the right spot for the ceremony.

As the photographers will be taking the photos diagonally and from the side, try placing the chairs and take some photos yourself. Try all angles and don't be afraid to move your coffee table or side table to make way for the ceremony.

Manpower Allocation (During the actual ceremony)

So if you think your role is just to stand there and offer tea think again. All of a sudden, after your parents finished their tea, who is next? Where is this person? Are the cups being washed? Where do I put my ang baos and gifts?

This is the most important part of the tea ceremony where many wedding couples lose control. Don't fret, here are some roles for you to assign to your entourage to help with your tea ceremony.

The Loudspeaker

Who - Either the sibling or father side auntie/cousin. Who has better knowledge of your family's hierarchy than your siblings or cousin. You can also find the ever 'onz' auntie to help you out too.

Role - Calling the next relative in line for their turn to drink the wedding couple's tea. If you are assigning one of the sister to do it, give her a list of the relatives names for her to read out.

The Statue

Who - The sister with the steadiest hands / nicest smile (cause she will be in most of the photographs)

Role - To stand there, smile and hold the plate of tea cups while the wedding couples' serves tea. Try not to put the whole tea pot on the plate as the porcelain tea pot with tea is indeed heavy even for a guy.

The Runners

Who - 2 of the sisters

Role - To pour the tea from the tea pot nearby and pass it to the Statue.

1. The Runner will collect the used tea cups and passed it to another Runner for washing at the sink. Repeat.
2. The Runner will collect the used tea cups, empty the left over tea in a small bucket and rinse the tea cups with warm water in another bucket. Repeat. (Not recommended due to hygiene)

The Safe Keeper

Who - Maid of Honor aka Bridesmaid or Sibling

Role - To safe keep the Ang Baos and gifts given by the parents and relatives.

The 媒婆 (Optional but very fun to have)


Who - 媒婆 herself or any of your loud Aunties. Otherwise, get one of your sisters to Google the phrases used during tea ceremonies.

Role - Other than narrating the auspicious phrases, she will be the one to bring out the atmosphere of the whole tea ceremony. Our seniors love weddings bustling with noise and excitement.

Well, maybe we should have went for the sister as the 媒婆 instead.

Quick Tips

1. Other than your parents, there is no need to kneel and serve tea to the rest of your relatives.
2. Prepare a soft pillow cushion if kneeling is required.
3. Serve tea to the groom side first. His parents, grandparents, father side relatives, mother side relatives, siblings. Followed by the bride's side.
4. It is not necessary to receive tea from younger cousins. However if your parents/relatives insist, always keep a few red packets of $2 with you.
5. Both the couples can serve a cup of tea together to each of the relative rather than 2 cups to 1 relative.
6. For jewellery gifts, only wear the jewellery from your parents/in-laws and your grandparents.
7. You may also like to ask your helper to note down who was the one that gave you the gift.
8. Don't forget to thank your helpers and always give them a token of appreciation.

With the above planning and manpower allocation, we hope that this post help upcoming wedding couples breeze thru their tiresome but fun filled actual day.

Know anymore tips for Chinese Wedding Tea Ceremony? Drop us a comment and share with the rest of the wedding couples.